Business Relationships

Have you been frustrated?

I can pretty much guarantee we’ve all been frustrated with other people at some point, whether at home, in the office, or both. It’s just part of the human condition.

 Think back to a time where you were really upset with someone at work. Why were you upset? How much energy did you invest into your frustration? How much time was eaten up by your anger towards the other person?

 Now think about this: what if you had just gone directly to the person to discuss the issue in the first place? Likely, the problem was just because of miscommunication. You probably would’ve been able to come to a simple, quick solution that would work for both of you.

 Think of all those hours of frustration that you could’ve spared yourself. Kind of seems like a silly waste of energy, doesn’t it?

 If you find yourself focusing on someone who has upset you, I urge you to work up the courage to confront that person. Approach your co-worker/associate with a calm, respectful, understanding attitude. Discuss the issue matter-of-factly, without placing blame. The energy you invest in communicating effectively will save you time and your sanity!

 It’s just the Servant Leader thing to do.

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Use communication first!

My eyes are opening!

My Servant Leadership journey has been a powerful one, this past week especially. On Friday I had the opportunity to spend the day with about 85 of the staff at Silver Lake College in Manitowoc, Wis. This small private Catholic college blew me away as we started the day-long convocation. Fifteen of their staff members led the group in a Servant Leadership reflection, which had my eyes welling up as I stepped up on stage. The reflection lasted only 15 minutes but the quotes and sharing were powerful. I thought I would share some of the quotes that I heard.

Lau Tzu:

 ”A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves.”

 John Quincy Adams:

 ”If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are the leader.”

 Fr. Keith Clark:

 ”Next to the words ‘thank you,’ we believe the words ‘what do you think?’ are the most empowering words a leader can speak.”

 Joseph P. Chinnici, O.F.M.:

 ”I believe that when we can see all of this in the same field—then we will catch the ‘bug’… of being a Franciscan intellectual, and we will discover a voice, and we will learn to treasure – in a profound way – each other’s voice; because, no matter what the language, I sit and learn and teach and that way we become brothers and sisters together.”

 Although my presence there was to share the VOICE we all have as unique individuals through the lens of Servant Leadership, I left feeling, in the presence of those Servant Leaders, that I gained more than I had to give.

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Use “what do you think” in your conversations at least five times this week.

A funny thing happened over Thanksgiving!

I hope you enjoy this story. 

 Background: Danica and I purchased a commercial building over a year ago and have our office on the second floor. The first floor has two tenants who lease from us: a restaurant and a hair salon.

 What happened: Over the Thanksgiving holiday, our salon tenant abandoned his lease obligations, took his computer, and sent a text to me saying he was done! There were two stylists still working at the salon. Danica and I immediately reached out to them, and we all met at the salon the Saturday evening of Thanksgiving weekend to discuss the situation.

 As you can imagine, these two individuals, Travis and Rossemary, were beside themselves. They were on the verge of panicking. First, their schedule was in the computer that the owner removed. Second, they didn’t know if they still had jobs! Danica and I told them we would take over the salon. We decided to rename it and create a Servant Leadership experience for all its current and future stylists as well as its current and future customers. So that’s what we’re doing. Thank goodness we own a marketing firm! In three days, we renamed it Salon Fifty Four (based partly on its address: 154 N. Broadway, Green Bay), changed the sign and got things moving.

 However, through the transition of trying to find existing clients and dealing with the phone change, we are still trying to reach out to let people know that Rossemary and Travis are still in business! I’m hoping you can help me. I would take it as a personal favor if you would be so kind as to schedule one hair cut, color and styling, keratin treatment, or eyebrow waxing or threading. You can call either Rossemary or Travis at 920-432-0601. Bring in this Wisdom and receive 20% off any treatment as a THANK YOU!

 I hope you don’t mind this plug. It literally happened so fast but I believe things happen for a reason. We’re excited about this new adventure, and I feel that we’ll be successful in our efforts at making Salon Fifty Four Green Bay’s premier location for talent and experience. Danica is loving it! What’s thrilling for me is that this is an opportunity to take our system and insert it into a hospitality business that we control. Lot’s of fun! 

Here’s to the many adventures you will experience in 2012. Remember, with every situation there is an opportunity. Seize them!

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Consider liking us on Facebook at facebook/salonfiftyfourgb

Your behavior is transparent to others!

People tend to think their shortcomings are not noticeable to others. Well, I’m here to tell you you’re wrong! You know the “stuff” others are trying to hide, and they know yours. Everyone knows who the detail people are, and everyone knows who the fun party people are. Everyone knows but nobody wants to talk about it. I say, let’s be upfront and celebrate it! Admit to your weaknesses because not admitting them only justifies those who have those strengths. I see too many people trying to be everything to everybody. Relax and simply be who you are. Everyone will thank you for it, and you’ll be a whole lot less stressed!

Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Self-reflect … then communicate!

The Power of Words

Monday we held our Servant Leaders of Wisconsin (Fox Valley Group) quarterly meeting. Our guest speaker was Tom Thibodeau from Viterbo University in La Crosse. Tom is the Director of the Masters in Servant Leadership Program at Viterbo. He spoke for about an hour and part of his focus was helping us realize the power of words. He explained that when you say something to another person you feel that those words are dead. They are out of your mouth and they are dead. However, to another person they become alive. If your words are kind, they hold on to that person like a best friend. If your words are harmful, they remain with the person like a bad nightmare.

 The words you use define you. Do you appreciate and compliment the people in your life that you come across every day? Such as the paper carrier, mail carrier, hair dresser or parking lot attendant? I’m certainly not perfect but I’m getting better. While driving to Disney with my family, I decided to compliment and thank every toll booth attendant in the state of Florida. I thanked each one for coming to work and gave each a sincere compliment of what I observed in the 20 seconds or so that we were together. I gave compliments like: “I love your hairdo,” “Great shirt or tie,” or “Wow, you have a wonderful smile.”

 Guess what? They all smiled and the words I planted began to grow within them. I felt great and so did they. Begin planting some words this week that help you build up and appreciate others. You‘ll be amazed at how it will make you feel!

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: You know what to do!

The inconvenience of serving others

I bet you’ve been faced with a situation where someone needed help and you knew the right thing—or Servant Leader thing— to do was to offer your assistance, yet you didn’t. Likely you were faced with your own pile of work and were feeling overwhelmed yourself. That’s just reality.

But the thing we need to realize is that being a Servant Leader means we’re always “on call,” as Lary Kirchenbauer puts it:

To serve means you’re on call. It doesn’t mean that you must have an open door every minute of the day, but it does mean that you stand ready and willing to serve your troops, and recognize their needs don’t always come in handy doses delivered at a convenient time. The test of a true leader is the ability to be present, to be reliable and disciplined about how to serve her team, and her willingness to go the extra mile to make sure that she’s serving her team, when, and where needed […] Don’t get run over, lose money or make accommodations that are unreasonable. Bring a positive “service” attitude as your sidekick and be willing to go the extra mile to serve everyone in your universe.

Joe Kiedinger

Action Plan:  I challenge you this week to remain present and stand ready and willing to serve…even if it does come at the most inconvenient of times. That’s just the Servant Leader thing to do.

Every Person Has a Story

Every person has a story. Do you know and do you care? Every person has a story. Is anyone out there? Will you take the time to listen—take the time to settle down? Cause every person has a story … even the circus clown. Tell me your story so that I may understand. Tell me your story so I might lend a helping hand. Inspire me with your uniqueness because I can learn from you. Every person has a story—today  go talk to two!

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Ask two people to tell you their story—then simply listen.

Servant Leadership Is Spreading!

Wow, this Servant Leadership movement is spreading like wildfire! Currently we have four cities in Wisconsin that host quarterly Servant Leadership forums. Our chapter here in the northeast part of the state, Servant Leaders of Wisconsin, Fox Valley group, had more than 150 people attend our last meeting. Bob Chapman from Barry-Wehmiller was our guest speaker during the 90-minute gathering.

 Our next meeting is scheduled for Nov. 14 from 1-3 p.m. at The Marq in De Pere. Our guest speaker will be Tom Thibodeau. He is engaging and fantastic! Tom teaches at Viterbo University in La Crosse and heads the only master’s program in Servant Leadership in the state. He received rave reviews when he spoke for 15 minutes at our first meeting back in May. If you attended the Festival Foods Jim Hunter event, Tom spoke on the stage.

 Tom’s style and passion for Servant Leadership is based on civility in the community. His vision is to create the first Servant-led state! If you are at all curious on building your family, your business and your life around serving others, please attend our free event. You will be inspired—I guarantee it!

 Joe Kiedinger

 ACTION PLAN: Seating is limited so please e-mail Meredith Bartos at meredithb@prophitmarketing.com to reserve your spot!

Through a different lens

My wife and teenager were away for an evening which left me the opportunity to plan an appropriate activity with my three little girls, Joey’s Angels! I love impromptu planning. I decided I was going to take them to the new movie Dolphin Tale. The movie was playing in two theaters. Because I had to pick up my middle girl from a birthday party, we had to choose the later showing that was playing at 7:05 p.m. We entered the building, paid the obscene ticket price, and as we were walking away from the cashier the greeter said, “Oh, don’t forget your 3D glasses.” 3D? I thought. Cool! I was hoping my youngest would tolerate watching the movie with the ‘50s-style, black-rimmed glasses. I took a picture of the girls in the theater and sent it to Danica. It was a really cute sight.

The movie was touching and I recommend it, but what I really wish to share with you is the actual 3D experience. If you’ve never seen a 3D movie, the picture itself looks quite blurry if you are not wearing the special glasses. However once you put on the glasses and peer through the lenses, the picture appears vibrant and rich. This is the perfect analogy for how we view people. When we come across people who are not like us, we immediately begin to point out what is wrong with them because they “appear blurry.” It’s no different than if you had entered that movie not knowing it was 3D. If you had no previous experiences with 3D technology, you would jump to the conclusion that something is wrong with the projector or the film. I have developed the About Me Card program to remove the blur by offering what is in effect a pair of 3D glasses for viewing people for who they are and not the blurry, skewed view based on our past experiences and biases. Servant Leadership is getting out of your own way, stepping outside of yourself to serve and understand others.

There are a lot of perks that come with understanding people better. Would you believe it if I told you that my stress level has gone way down? Would you believe it if I told you my blood pressure has dropped? The anxiety of misinterpreting people is exhausting and bad for your health. I don’t waste my time anymore. I’ve replaced judgment with curiosity. Oh, I slip back to my old self once in a while, but I’m getting better. I encourage you to step out of yourself for awhile and view people through a different lens. It can help you, and you’ll love it!

Joe Kiedinger

A Servant’s Journey

I was fascinated watching him play. “Get out of you,” I heard a voice say. I watched as he challenged me and how I loved him as he grew into a preteenager. “Get out of you,” I heard the voice say again. I was too busy judging him, pretending that his reality was my own. He became a teenager and I felt him drifting away. “Get out of you,” the voice said yet another time. I finally decided to listen to the voice.  As soon as I got out of me, I was finally able see my son for who he was. My eyes were open and I could finally be the dad he needed me to be.

Get out of yourself this week and begin to understand those around you: a spouse, a child, a co-worker or a friend. A Servant Leader sees people through their eyes. Join us and see again for the first time.

Joe Kiedinger