Life

Thanksgiving message…

I always take a break from W.O.W. Thanksgiving week. I will leave you with this weeks Servant Leadership e-mail that I send every Monday to leaders engaged in our Culture building program. I hope you enjoy it and have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Well, the holidays are officially upon us! This Thursday most of us will be gathering with family around the table to celebrate Thanksgiving. But before you leave the office, prepared to fill up on turkey, take a moment to express some gratitude. That’s what Thanksgiving is all about…giving thanks!
 
As we all know, it becomes so easy to take others for granted when we see them day-in and day-out. That’s why it’s important to occasionally pull ourselves out of “auto-pilot” and think about all the people who affect our lives. As you make your way through the day, make a conscious effort to recognize all the people around you. As you’re about to head out the door, thank your spouse and kids for one small thing they do. When you pick up your coffee on the way to the office, express a bit of gratitude to your barista. As you walk into the office, tell the administrative personnel how they are appreciated. And continue this throughout the day. Not only will you make each person’s day, but you’ll make your own day!
 
A little bit of gratitude goes a long way!

The Search for Joy

When I hear how frustrated people get with life, I interpret this as an absence of joy. Can joy and happiness be the same thing? I think joy is a much deeper emotion. Joy is that feeling you get when everything inside of you is jumping around … maybe that’s how the expression “leaping for joy” came to be. The spirit dances within with such delight and jubilance that even the dark forces in life feel manageable and acceptable.

I recently heard a story of how joy was discovered by a person as a result of a battle with cancer. I don’t understand this yet and hope to interview this individual some day. How can a person experience joy when living with such a terrible disease? Is it possible that through the lowest of lows a new awareness emerges that actually leads to this place called joy? Am I being a little melodramatic right now? Have I ever asked more questions in one Wisdom before? I can answer this one… No.

My hope for all who are reading this is to find the joy. You won’t find it in your checkbook, and you won’t find it with things. You will find it in helping others. When you approach your life in such a way where your work—what you do to make a living—is focused on enriching the lives of others, you will find joy. Enjoy these next few weeks of the holiday season. Joy to the world!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start asking better questions.

Stop Judging and Start Accepting

We all have rules of engagement that are inside of us. You know, things we like and things we don’t like. In addition to these rules, we have a driving force that was programmed early on as to how we prefer to reach success. Our new About Me Card program reveals this, and it helps people understand these rules for others and shows them how to respect one another. The more I train companies on the program and the more I interact with people, the more major “ah ha’s” I experience.

Two things happened to me recently regarding this subject of judging and accepting. The first, I am helping a client write a book. In one of my interview sessions with him, he was discussing the topic of listening and used the term “compassionate emptiness.” This means to listen without preconceived judgment or offering solutions. It’s the art of simply listening to a person, not judging them and not gabbing on about how you would do something. Most people just want to be heard. Allow them to come up with their own solutions. I really liked that wisdom.

The second was I received an About Me Card from someone who I really do not understand. Her About Me Card had motivations that I cannot relate to at all. Up until a few days ago, I would judge these motivations as bad. I understand now that they may be bad to me but not to her. I decided to not question them but to accept them. I realized that this program is not designed for me to label someone’s motivations as good or bad. Rather, I may not understand and that’s OK. I can still choose to respect what I don’t personally understand.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Let’s not judge—let ’s choose to respect!

Spread Your Wings and Fly

I am going to share with you my thoughts on young adults (18-22). I must admit that I have not yet experienced this age group. However, I do have some wisdom that I will be living by that perhaps will speak to your heart. I have been on a very intense and adventurous journey on discovering happiness, and I have come to some realizations that I think are accurate. I’m sure I’ll hear from those of you who think I’m a little wacky here. Oh well, here goes …

I think we parents have preconceived notions of the perfect child before even starting a family. Once in awhile, especially if you have multiple children, you get lucky and the perfect kid is born. What I’ve realized, though, is that these kids are who they are! Leave them alone! I say this in the context of children who are not involved in drugs or alcohol. I’m talking about the typical young adult. In raising these children, you did your work and you shared your values. Now it’s up to them to live their lives. The programming will kick in eventually!

Let them make their mistakes. Let them make their choices. The only way we learn is through our mistakes. We forget what it was like when we were 20. After college I drove a school bus, was a professional gymnast (even though I couldn’t do a good cartwheel and never took a class in my life), performed on a cruise ship and co-started a dinner theater. My parents thought I was nuts (especially the tumbling thing). It’s been a great adventure. Let them go. Support, encourage and then go out to dinner with a friend and forget it. There’s nothing you can do anyhow. It’s not your place anymore.

That’s my plan anyway. We’ll see how it goes for me when the time comes. It’s five short years away. Yikes!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Have a meaningful conversation with a child today. Don’t ask about grades or what they’re doing. Ask them open-ended questions on their thoughts on stuff. Watch them open up.

Life Is Amazing

It’s amazing the roller coaster ride this thing called Life is. Frank Sinatra had it right with his song, That’s Life … “You’re riding high in April, shot down in May. But I know I’m gonna change that tune, when I’m back on top in June.” In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins talks about the flywheel. It’s the idea that we need to relentlessly push this big heavy flywheel over and over again until the momentum of our efforts gets that sucker to spin on its own. And when it starts spinning fast enough, you can’t stop it!

I’m sure you have feelings now and then about what you do and where your life is heading when you think, “I’m never getting ahead!” You just have to figure it out. We all have doubts once in awhile … but you know what, I find the thing that picks me up is when I spend time with people who support what I’m doing. That gets me refueled to go out and keep at it. I’m always reminded that today is rarely what confuses us. It’s the past, trying to change things we cannot; and the future, trying to predict what’s coming.

There is not greatness in not ever overcoming adversity. Seek and you shall find—and remember: The harder you work, the luckier you’ll get!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Seek and you shall find. Ask and you will receive.

I believe that inspiration is all around us and it seems to hit us when we’re not even looking for it.

How many times have you seen a sign at a restaurant, read an article in a magazine, or met a person who just made you stop in your tracks and think, “Wow! I’ve never thought of it that way before”? I think we’ve all had these moments of clarity when we sort of reevaluate our lives and walk away feeling a little taller, a little wiser, and a lot more inspired.

Here’s a quote I ran across that might inspire you:

“The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.”
~ William Arthur Ward

This quote just screams “Servant Leadership” to me: learning, growing, changing, overcoming challenges. Caring about, serving, and giving to others. That’s what it’s all about! I’m feeling inspired, how about you?

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Pay attention to all that inspires you this week—you’ll be surprised!

How are you right now?

Some of you may find this post to be a little trite or “typical” of just about any inspirational message that is out on the Internet. I guess I need to share it with you because it hit close to home with me and I was reminded about its importance. My family took a trip to our land in Tomahawk for one night over the Labor Day holiday, It was only one night, but oh, what a night. Danica and I have a dwelling there. We call it a “CA-Bagge” which means Cabin/Garage. We named it to poke a little fun at our garage converted partly into living quarters. It’s cozy and has running water but no bathroom. We have the outhouse for that! Of course, we dream someday of building a small cottage on the property. We dream our dreams and plot our plans.

That night, this past Saturday, I really just sat back and took in the scene. I took in the water our property looks out over. I took in the deck and reflected on the story of how it got there and the labor of love to install and complete it. I took in our cabin loft and the comfortable beds and furnace which add much comfort. I took in our kids playing on the property. Alex was shooting targets with his BB gun. The girls were playing “house.” Danica and I were having coffee on the deck.

It was cooler that day so we started a bonfire early. It was roaring by four o’clock. We sat around and talked until 8:30. That’s about when mom and the girls went up to bed. Alex and I stayed out for another two hours. The sky was a brilliant tapestry of stars. The Milky Way was clearly seen. We just sat and talked about whatever came to mind and we were happy.

I looked around at just how fortunate I am to have the family, the fun things in my life and the most precious thing of all … time. Time to spend with everything and everyone who matters to me. Not too many people think of time as a gift, but it truly is.

I would like to end this Wisdom with a quote from the movie Kung Fu Panda (did I mention I have kids?).

“Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift and that is why they call it the Present.”

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Enjoy your Present.

Feedback on Happiness!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote my Wisdom post on the root of happiness. I received some wonderful insights from several of our readers. I would like to dedicate this issue to the folks who took the time to offer their thoughts on the subject.

“What I have found is that happiness comes from within and then is reflected back to me in the appreciation and respect that I’m shown from the people around me. When I’m happy with what I am and what I’m experiencing right here, right now in this moment, I’m set up for happiness in this moment. And that tends to flow into the next moment. And the next. And the next. I find that the people who come into my life show me appreciation and respect because I appreciate and respect them. It is rare for me to encounter a rude person.

“Although I certainly experience challenges like most people do, I try to learn from them, let them go and move back toward what makes me feel happy. It’s a decision, an intention and a way of life. I don’t think happiness comes as a result of what happens; what happens comes as a result of happiness, or lack of it.”

Ann

“I just wanted to say I do enjoy your thoughts each Wednesday. I was going to add to your definition of happiness from today. I have found on my journey one of the big keys to ‘happiness’ is focusing on relationships. You can have a lot of money and fame and lots of toys, but if you don’t have great relationships you can be very unhappy. In the same way, I know people who don’t have lots of money and fame but who have great relationships and are super happy people.

“Keep up the great work,”
 
Marty

“See also www.octanner.com <http://www.octanner.com/>. They have coined the phrase ‘appreciatology’. I’ve run into them at HR seminars. Good stuff!

“Take care!!!”
 
Geri

Thank you, Ann, Marty and Geri for sharing additional insights and providing a resource to learn more. One thing is for sure: Appreciation is the one thing all of us want and all of us need to achieve happiness!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Give 5 people a genuine compliment and explain one or two things about them that you appreciate. Then be aware of not how they feel, but how that made you feel.

They’re 45 years old and retired!

Danica and I had a real treat of a weekend. Our babysitter watched our kids. We left Friday morning for St. Paul to visit my sister and brother-in-law. Those of you with kids I know you love’em but getting away alone is definitely welcomed every now and again. When I got home my seven-year-old said, “So Daddy, are your batteries charged up?” Aside from each of us suffering from a severe cold, we had a wonderful time. Saturday was picture perfect and the temperature was perfect at White Bear Lake, 20 minutes from St. Paul. My sister Kathy has a boat that she and her husband harbor there.

We spent the afternoon cruising around this clean, clear lake. Kathy pointed out a few mansion-like homes around the lake. She told us some of the stories that went with a few of them. Many of the stories went like this: “… that guy invented ‘X,’ sold the company and retired at 45.” Every story had a relatively young person inventing something and landing into a pile of money. I love hearing these stories. I love stories of an idea going big. It fires me up because I love entrepreneurship and everything that goes with it. However, I especially love the buildup to the sale. These stories when told by others typically leave out the part about entrepreneurs mortgaging everything they owned because of the dream. They don’t tell you about the years of sweat and tears … the immense amount of time talking to thousands of people until the idea gained momentum.

I love these “crawling stories.” You know, the stories of the early years. Where are you in your story? Are you patient in your pursuits? A person is like a fine wine. You can produce cheap wine pretty quick, or you can allow it to ferment and build your own flavor. Make sure you keep your eyes on the big picture. Have patience, be diligent and make a difference in whatever you do.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Practice patience. Write down three initiatives or relationships where you are going to practice patience.

My Growing Search for Happiness!

What is it that brings a person happiness? It’s always been said that fame and fortune do not create happiness. Any issue of People magazine will tell you that. The media, of course, likes to focus on the pain in people’s lives. Do we consumers really get a kick out of learning about another’s misery? Unfortunately the answer is yes.

I say let’s stop being miserable and start appreciating other people’s successes in life. I know it’s a pipe dream. I’m sure many of you who are working wish more people would acknowledge and appreciate the things you contribute. My search for happiness has led me to one solution. I don’t know if it’s this simple yet, but it’s what I’ve uncovered so far on my journey. If you have any thoughts on this topic, I would love to hear them.

Happy people feel appreciated and respected. They feel it at home, they feel it at work and they feel it in the community where they live. Mother Theresa was quoted as saying, “People crave appreciation more than food.” She would have known! So I want to know from you: Do you feel appreciated at work? I’ve put together a short survey and will report the results to you in a future publication.

In this survey, I’m not only looking at trying to better understand appreciation at work but I’m also wondering what interests you have so I can serve you better.

The winning formula, for now, is: Appreciation + Respect = Happiness

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Please participate in our survey! We want to hear from you.