Positivity

Traditions

I hope many of you fill your lives with rich traditions. Aside from our annual holiday traditions, we have small family rituals that have become very special. Cheese and crackers when daddy gets home, nighttime stories and regular “mystery trips” with the kids. My mom and dad introduced me to mystery trips. When you package an outing as a mystery trip, for some reason when you get there you realize that picking cherries, hunting for golf balls or some other random activity is kind of fun. If you simply tell kids where they are going, there is almost always a protester in the group.

Traditions are important for company employees as well. Our holiday party is coming up this Saturday. One tradition we’ve started is the annual Wassail. Wassail is a song that I used to sing at Madrigal Dinners during my college years. We have 14 Prophiteers who I celebrate in song. There are 14 verses to the song and each verse celebrates a Prophiteer. I will be writing this after I finish up this Wisdom.

Traditions help bring a culture along. I had the privilege recently of interviewing Matt Umentum, owner of Rol-Tec. Every day at 9:00 a.m. and again in the afternoon, his associates take 10 minutes to play Ping Pong. It’s a way to have a little competitive play, and by creating some fun to look forward to it helps build camaraderie.

What traditions will you start at your company? Remember, your people spend more waking hours with you than they do with their own family. Make it special and show you care.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start some simple traditions that are unique to your company or your department.

The Search for Joy

When I hear how frustrated people get with life, I interpret this as an absence of joy. Can joy and happiness be the same thing? I think joy is a much deeper emotion. Joy is that feeling you get when everything inside of you is jumping around … maybe that’s how the expression “leaping for joy” came to be. The spirit dances within with such delight and jubilance that even the dark forces in life feel manageable and acceptable.

I recently heard a story of how joy was discovered by a person as a result of a battle with cancer. I don’t understand this yet and hope to interview this individual some day. How can a person experience joy when living with such a terrible disease? Is it possible that through the lowest of lows a new awareness emerges that actually leads to this place called joy? Am I being a little melodramatic right now? Have I ever asked more questions in one Wisdom before? I can answer this one… No.

My hope for all who are reading this is to find the joy. You won’t find it in your checkbook, and you won’t find it with things. You will find it in helping others. When you approach your life in such a way where your work—what you do to make a living—is focused on enriching the lives of others, you will find joy. Enjoy these next few weeks of the holiday season. Joy to the world!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start asking better questions.

Spread Your Wings and Fly

I am going to share with you my thoughts on young adults (18-22). I must admit that I have not yet experienced this age group. However, I do have some wisdom that I will be living by that perhaps will speak to your heart. I have been on a very intense and adventurous journey on discovering happiness, and I have come to some realizations that I think are accurate. I’m sure I’ll hear from those of you who think I’m a little wacky here. Oh well, here goes …

I think we parents have preconceived notions of the perfect child before even starting a family. Once in awhile, especially if you have multiple children, you get lucky and the perfect kid is born. What I’ve realized, though, is that these kids are who they are! Leave them alone! I say this in the context of children who are not involved in drugs or alcohol. I’m talking about the typical young adult. In raising these children, you did your work and you shared your values. Now it’s up to them to live their lives. The programming will kick in eventually!

Let them make their mistakes. Let them make their choices. The only way we learn is through our mistakes. We forget what it was like when we were 20. After college I drove a school bus, was a professional gymnast (even though I couldn’t do a good cartwheel and never took a class in my life), performed on a cruise ship and co-started a dinner theater. My parents thought I was nuts (especially the tumbling thing). It’s been a great adventure. Let them go. Support, encourage and then go out to dinner with a friend and forget it. There’s nothing you can do anyhow. It’s not your place anymore.

That’s my plan anyway. We’ll see how it goes for me when the time comes. It’s five short years away. Yikes!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Have a meaningful conversation with a child today. Don’t ask about grades or what they’re doing. Ask them open-ended questions on their thoughts on stuff. Watch them open up.

Introducing CHANGE!

This week I had the humbling task of strengthening understanding among nine men in a leadership team in Austin, Texas. These guys were just like you and me. They were trying to “figure it out” so to speak. Figure out business growth, both strategically and tactically, as well as better understand one another. I am always slightly nervous when entering into an About Me Card session with any group. I don’t know why, as it always ends up being enlightening for most everyone there. What I have realized, though, is how the initiation of change works with this program and any program that is newly introduced.

Imagine there is a big gutted-out wooden boat with many oars lying on the floor. When change like a new program is introduced, everyone is asked to step inside the boat. The boat is the meeting room or that presentation they’re “forced” to attend. Once the information is delivered, what usually happens is this: 10% of the crowd loves it and wants to get started right away. They pick up some oars off the floor and start rowing. They practice what was asked in the meeting, and it really connects with them. They see it working in their lives.

 Another 80% sit in the boat and look around to see who else is picking up oars. They are wondering, and some may be hoping, that this will go away. No big deal, they can just step out of the boat. Then there is the remaining 10% who sneak in a drill and try desperately to make holes in the boat. “Let’s sink this idea!” It’s always the same in every group. You can tell by how people talk. When I do this with a 10-person group, one of them will come back all fired up after doing the exercises. Eight will sit there and give some feedback. Some a little positive, perhaps, some a little negative, but nothing too far to the right or left. Then there is always one person who sends the message, “This is clearly a waste of time” or “It doesn’t work.”

 It’s this 10% who are the most adamantly opposed to ANY change. Remember this as you go out to change the world with something you may discover or feel is better than what already exists. Stay true to your beliefs and eventually you will experience breakthrough! When it comes to the About Me Program, have we broken through? Not quite yet, but the wall of resistance is sure starting to crumble!

 Joe Kiedinger

Life Is Amazing

It’s amazing the roller coaster ride this thing called Life is. Frank Sinatra had it right with his song, That’s Life … “You’re riding high in April, shot down in May. But I know I’m gonna change that tune, when I’m back on top in June.” In his book, Good to Great, Jim Collins talks about the flywheel. It’s the idea that we need to relentlessly push this big heavy flywheel over and over again until the momentum of our efforts gets that sucker to spin on its own. And when it starts spinning fast enough, you can’t stop it!

I’m sure you have feelings now and then about what you do and where your life is heading when you think, “I’m never getting ahead!” You just have to figure it out. We all have doubts once in awhile … but you know what, I find the thing that picks me up is when I spend time with people who support what I’m doing. That gets me refueled to go out and keep at it. I’m always reminded that today is rarely what confuses us. It’s the past, trying to change things we cannot; and the future, trying to predict what’s coming.

There is not greatness in not ever overcoming adversity. Seek and you shall find—and remember: The harder you work, the luckier you’ll get!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Seek and you shall find. Ask and you will receive.

Don’t Give Up!

These Wisdom on Wednesday articles truly are an archive of my professional and some of my personal life as well. It’s enjoyable for me to look back at past issues to bring myself back to where I was at the time. The first article was written in February 2004. By this February I will have written 364 articles. Pretty crazy, huh!? It’s funny because I had so many friends and family members question not so much my ability to write articles but my ability to consistently write articles.

Well, I’m still writing. Only one entry missed its Wednesday mark because of technical difficulties, but it got out on Thursday. Don’t give up. If you have a dream, don’t give up. Remember: You can alter your dream or bend the rules as you get older, but don’t let go. It reminds me of that Christmas special growing up. I think it was called, “Santa Clause Is Coming to Town.” There was a terrible snow wizard who crossed young Chris Kringle’s path. He turned out to be a good guy and he sang the song, “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking across the floor. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door.” The message is simple but clear. As an old Chinese proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

Remind yourself of the almighty weapon to any dream: patience. Just start. Start with one small action and do something little each and every day to bring you closer to your goal, until one day you wake up and you are living it! Put one foot in front of the other…

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Start walking!

I believe that inspiration is all around us and it seems to hit us when we’re not even looking for it.

How many times have you seen a sign at a restaurant, read an article in a magazine, or met a person who just made you stop in your tracks and think, “Wow! I’ve never thought of it that way before”? I think we’ve all had these moments of clarity when we sort of reevaluate our lives and walk away feeling a little taller, a little wiser, and a lot more inspired.

Here’s a quote I ran across that might inspire you:

“The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of life is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.”
~ William Arthur Ward

This quote just screams “Servant Leadership” to me: learning, growing, changing, overcoming challenges. Caring about, serving, and giving to others. That’s what it’s all about! I’m feeling inspired, how about you?

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Pay attention to all that inspires you this week—you’ll be surprised!

How are you right now?

Some of you may find this post to be a little trite or “typical” of just about any inspirational message that is out on the Internet. I guess I need to share it with you because it hit close to home with me and I was reminded about its importance. My family took a trip to our land in Tomahawk for one night over the Labor Day holiday, It was only one night, but oh, what a night. Danica and I have a dwelling there. We call it a “CA-Bagge” which means Cabin/Garage. We named it to poke a little fun at our garage converted partly into living quarters. It’s cozy and has running water but no bathroom. We have the outhouse for that! Of course, we dream someday of building a small cottage on the property. We dream our dreams and plot our plans.

That night, this past Saturday, I really just sat back and took in the scene. I took in the water our property looks out over. I took in the deck and reflected on the story of how it got there and the labor of love to install and complete it. I took in our cabin loft and the comfortable beds and furnace which add much comfort. I took in our kids playing on the property. Alex was shooting targets with his BB gun. The girls were playing “house.” Danica and I were having coffee on the deck.

It was cooler that day so we started a bonfire early. It was roaring by four o’clock. We sat around and talked until 8:30. That’s about when mom and the girls went up to bed. Alex and I stayed out for another two hours. The sky was a brilliant tapestry of stars. The Milky Way was clearly seen. We just sat and talked about whatever came to mind and we were happy.

I looked around at just how fortunate I am to have the family, the fun things in my life and the most precious thing of all … time. Time to spend with everything and everyone who matters to me. Not too many people think of time as a gift, but it truly is.

I would like to end this Wisdom with a quote from the movie Kung Fu Panda (did I mention I have kids?).

“Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift and that is why they call it the Present.”

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Enjoy your Present.

Feedback on Happiness!

A couple of weeks ago I wrote my Wisdom post on the root of happiness. I received some wonderful insights from several of our readers. I would like to dedicate this issue to the folks who took the time to offer their thoughts on the subject.

“What I have found is that happiness comes from within and then is reflected back to me in the appreciation and respect that I’m shown from the people around me. When I’m happy with what I am and what I’m experiencing right here, right now in this moment, I’m set up for happiness in this moment. And that tends to flow into the next moment. And the next. And the next. I find that the people who come into my life show me appreciation and respect because I appreciate and respect them. It is rare for me to encounter a rude person.

“Although I certainly experience challenges like most people do, I try to learn from them, let them go and move back toward what makes me feel happy. It’s a decision, an intention and a way of life. I don’t think happiness comes as a result of what happens; what happens comes as a result of happiness, or lack of it.”

Ann

“I just wanted to say I do enjoy your thoughts each Wednesday. I was going to add to your definition of happiness from today. I have found on my journey one of the big keys to ‘happiness’ is focusing on relationships. You can have a lot of money and fame and lots of toys, but if you don’t have great relationships you can be very unhappy. In the same way, I know people who don’t have lots of money and fame but who have great relationships and are super happy people.

“Keep up the great work,”
 
Marty

“See also www.octanner.com <http://www.octanner.com/>. They have coined the phrase ‘appreciatology’. I’ve run into them at HR seminars. Good stuff!

“Take care!!!”
 
Geri

Thank you, Ann, Marty and Geri for sharing additional insights and providing a resource to learn more. One thing is for sure: Appreciation is the one thing all of us want and all of us need to achieve happiness!

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Give 5 people a genuine compliment and explain one or two things about them that you appreciate. Then be aware of not how they feel, but how that made you feel.

They’re 45 years old and retired!

Danica and I had a real treat of a weekend. Our babysitter watched our kids. We left Friday morning for St. Paul to visit my sister and brother-in-law. Those of you with kids I know you love’em but getting away alone is definitely welcomed every now and again. When I got home my seven-year-old said, “So Daddy, are your batteries charged up?” Aside from each of us suffering from a severe cold, we had a wonderful time. Saturday was picture perfect and the temperature was perfect at White Bear Lake, 20 minutes from St. Paul. My sister Kathy has a boat that she and her husband harbor there.

We spent the afternoon cruising around this clean, clear lake. Kathy pointed out a few mansion-like homes around the lake. She told us some of the stories that went with a few of them. Many of the stories went like this: “… that guy invented ‘X,’ sold the company and retired at 45.” Every story had a relatively young person inventing something and landing into a pile of money. I love hearing these stories. I love stories of an idea going big. It fires me up because I love entrepreneurship and everything that goes with it. However, I especially love the buildup to the sale. These stories when told by others typically leave out the part about entrepreneurs mortgaging everything they owned because of the dream. They don’t tell you about the years of sweat and tears … the immense amount of time talking to thousands of people until the idea gained momentum.

I love these “crawling stories.” You know, the stories of the early years. Where are you in your story? Are you patient in your pursuits? A person is like a fine wine. You can produce cheap wine pretty quick, or you can allow it to ferment and build your own flavor. Make sure you keep your eyes on the big picture. Have patience, be diligent and make a difference in whatever you do.

Joe Kiedinger

ACTION PLAN: Practice patience. Write down three initiatives or relationships where you are going to practice patience.